Starting a blog has been a long-term dilemma for me, particularly in deciding for whom I would write. I know people create blogs for lots of different reasons, but I couldn't pinpoint my purpose for blogging. And without a purpose, I struggled to find a voice. Will I write to myself? Will I tell stories for other people's entertainment [supposing anyone else ever reads them]? Do I want to catalogue family events and keep regular updates on family life? Will I wax philosophical? What if I change my mind after I've started? What if people do read it and think it's totally lame? Blech! In spite of my hangups [and there are more than just these], I've felt a need for a while now to find a creative outlet. I like to write, so the time has finally come for me to just do it. My purposes will be many, and my voice may change and adapt. I will write for me ... and maybe the masses, too. Here are some of the reasons I have chosen to blog.
Purpose #1: I rigorously kept journals during my teenage years, but I certainly wouldn't share them with any other soul. Too embarrassing, ridiculous, and filled with emotional upheaval. [And yet I can't make myself throw them away.] My journal writing since high school has extreme holes, neglecting even the most important moments in my life. I fester with severe guilt from this fact. I already can't remember details that I thought for sure at the time I would never forget. I must change this, I know. So much of life for me is redundant and not particularly exciting, but it is still my life. Obviously the paper version of a journal has failed me for quite some time, so I'll try this approach.
Purpose #2: I spend a lot of time composing in my brain. I won't say I compose particularly interesting or creative or enlightening things, but my brain often thinks as though I will eventually write those thoughts down. Maybe I'm weird. Very likely I am. But on the off chance that it's not just weirdness, then maybe I ought to put some of those thoughts down on paper/into digital no-man's-land.
Purpose #3: I often feel inspired by events or by things that people say or do or by something I read. I usually just tuck those things away in my mind. Unfortunately [as noted above], when I try to retrieve these moments of inspiration I simply cannot. I really have a terrible memory. But these are the things that feed my spirit. They are the things that uplift me. I hope that I can use a blog as a reservoir to hold onto more of these moments.
Purpose #4: My kids and husband are pretty darn funny. They keep me laughing, at least. They bring me great joy. And again, referring back to the above mentioned horrible memory, I want to remember the things they say and do that just fill my heart. I think they deserve to see how these things matter to me. Already Caleb saw that I had included his Twelve Days with a Dog in my last post, and I watched his face light up. Marissa said, "Now I need to write something." I want them all to feel how their presence in my life is the very best thing.
So there you have it. I should probably add that I am extremely long-winded, if anyone has actually read this far. That's probably not a great trait to attract mass readership, but maybe that doesn't really matter. Maybe this post is just for me.
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